We don’t talk about death enough. Many are of the mind when i die i die. I am not going to care about it so i’m not going to think about it.
I think having a plan (and I don’t just mean a will) makes it so much easier for those left to organise your send off.
Maybe we should have a page on our personal websites called mydomain(dot)com/whenidie or a facebook/wordpress/blogger plug-in.. Or perhaps there could be a site dedicated to recording how you want to go, where, to what music and so on.
There must be this kind of service online but I see no reason now we are mostly online that we can’t find a universal system of logging all of this.
For the record I’d like a green burial the same place my Mum and Grandad are. A wicker coffin if I’m not too heavy at time of death. With an Oak tree at my head. Wear what you like. Oh and wellies, it gets muddy in the field. And please take photos.
There.. That wasn’t to difficult. Didn’t feel weird and it is down in writing.
I will add to this as I think of what else I feel fitting. Perhaps throw in a drinks menu for the wake and suggest what people wear, music etc.
You don’t have to check back. Not until it’s relevant. 😉
Still not done it nor done a will ;(. Shame it takes a death to be reminded x. Thanks
When I pass on I would like to be cremated and my ashes placed inside a firework, and with my background in Lighting design I would like a spectacular lightshow followed by a firework display with myself being the finale firework this would be an ‘event’ to celebrate my life instead of family and friends gathered in a room grieving.Some people see this as an odd way to leave, but it’s what I would like.
If I die in England I like to be buried under the grass and stay under the grass without a headstone, simply a square of fresh green grass. I find neglected and broken gravestones very sad, so I wouldn’t like one for myself. However, a funeral is for the living as well as the dying, so I shall start to save money so the event is not an expensive one for my loved ones. The Christian Orthodox funeral that my father-in-law had in March was a very nice way to bless a life and a death, all the prayers were sung by three priests. That was special.
I know that I have some difficulty thinking about arranging for when I die because I am so worried about arranging things for the people I’ll leave behind to be taken care of. Every time I take my car – which is pretty often – I try to think of the ifs and the hows, and I have made the list of people that should be told first hand, but then I get quickly overwhelmed and carried away from the original thoughts. I guess I still have a lot to learn in taking care of myself.I can also understand that someone would want things to be arranged to their liking, and the meaning they attach to what mourners would wear or drink, however grieving is such an individual and deep process, that I think putting too many constraints for the afflicted may be detrimental to the process. After all, someone may be very uncomfortable imagining ashes of who was a loved one been blasted off in a fireworks as in @adamstrawson ‘s fantasy above.I have dreadful recollections of funerals when the deceased one has forbidden anyone to say anything at his or her graveyard, and it was so uncomfortable for the people gathered to say goodbye with not a single word of inspiration, consolation or remembrance.The topic is a touchy one, and at the same time I fully agree with you that we should talk about it freely and more often, because it has a toll on us, and sharing about it is so much better.May you live until you are one-hundred twenty years old!
@Otir You raise some interesting points. Yes, I agree the arrangements should be loose enough for people to morn as they see fit.
Why not. Afterall, death is part of life’s journey. However, this is not entirely a new concept just not yet grasped. For example, the Victorian Death Photography Era http://collegetimes.us/a-memento-of-life-once-lived-victorian-death-photography/ and there are videos and photograph keepsakes being offered and created of stillborn babies today http://www.tampabay.com/news/health/article778126.ece?comments=legacy People take photos of weddings, birthdays and even ghostly apparitions so why not capture the “final celebration of one’s life” where there are memories and goodbyes to be made one last time before one continues to the other side….closure is very important for all involved, even for the departed spirits. I say get to work on that website Christian, you have a brilliant concept and compassionate photography style. You could even teach others to offer this type of photography & videography worldwide. Now that I think about it, I could have used this type of closure with my brothers funeral I was not able to attend.
There actually is a death plugin, it is called Next Of Kin.And I would like a black locust tree myself, agree with the rest.